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Am I the asshole for not just looking the other way, or is she to blame for it by not being honest and covering up her lies with more lies? Sincerely, Broken hearted and confused as fuck.

The idea that lying is always, always bad is far more black and white than I find to be reasonable. Some white lies about a polarizing but ultimately harmless topic that buy enough time for someone to see your the humanity of your situation instead of having a knee-jerk response?

Serious lies that completely change the context of a situation, leading someone to believe a completely different reality?

You and your girlfriend happen to fall smack dab in the middle of those two options. Even in , our culture is profoundly sex-negative, especially when women are involved.

There is a lot of ugly baggage that gets attached to women and sexual expression, especially when it seems to touch on any form of sex work.

Your girlfriend, in all likelihood, had a not unreasonable worry that you would judge her negatively if you found out that she was a cam girl.

Now the problem was the way she went about telling you about this. Revenge porn is a very real issue that many, many women deal with on a daily basis.

Claiming to have been the victim of a malicious ex to cover up any evidence you may have found was a shitty thing to do. It completely changes the tone of the situation and your relationship to it.

In trying to bridge the gap she led you to believe her to be the victim of a crime instead of someone who chooses to express herself sexually this way.

I think she was trying to avoid a painfully awkward conversation, especially considering that the two of you were strictly Skype buddies with no physical component to your relationship.

Your dealbreakers are your own and only you get to decide what they are. I really think it could all have been avoided.

For now, I think the only thing to do is move forward, a little sadder, but a little wiser, too. I am writing in hopes you can provide some insight into a disagreement I am having with my wife about defining what it means to be open about our past relationships.

We recently watched a silly romantic comedy in which the premise involves a man repeatedly traveling back in time in an attempt to change the past to end up with the woman of his dreams.

His many failed attempts at love with the other woman are erased from the the current timeline of reality, even though he remembers all of it.

Assuming the new relationship becomes serious, and they are the type of couple that is open about their past experiences, I feel that the man would be obligated to tell his new love about his time traveling adventures, which involved a sexual relationship with her best friend.

Otherwise he would be lying to her, since this is definitely a relationship in his personal experience. The experience is a part of him, even if the events were erased from the current reality via a magical time machine.

People have a right to privacy and to their secrets, even in long-term committed relationships. Second of all, it depends on how time travel functions in this case.

Or, alternately, does it take you to a parallel world where the timeline is playing out as it would if you had been there?

Does returning to the future leave you in a world where you remember the original past, but everyone else has different memories a la Life Is Strange?

If that other world or timeline still exists, then those experiences still happened for everyone involved. If I could theoretically return to that world somehow, then that would legitimately be part of my past.

On the other hand, if that timeline was retroactively erased, then so did the event. And honestly, getting mad at someone over a dream they had is kind of a waste of time, in my experience.

Did you escape the anti-matter wave only to find your entire existance had been wiped from the multiverse? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments.

Ask Dr. Write doc doctornerdlove. NerdLove and the Dr. NerdLove podcast. Maybe try some foreplay before hand to get closer before you get down with it?

Am I reading this right that you never met in person? LR3: Sorry to break it to you, but your wife slept with me in another timeline.

Everything you need to know about and expect during. Last Updated: September 3, References Approved. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed , times.

Learn more Keeping a relationship secret can be hard, but by practicing discretion and planning your public interactions carefully, you and your partner can keep your status hidden from coworkers, friends, family, or others in general.

There are many reasons to choose to have a secret relationship with someone. Maybe your office doesn't allow for coworkers to be together, or perhaps your family might not approve of your partner.

Or you might just be a private person. Whatever the cause, keeping this secret will require devotion and discretion, but that doesn't mean that you and your partner will have to sacrifice any intimacy.

Every day at wikiHow, we work hard to give you access to instructions and information that will help you live a better life, whether it's keeping you safer, healthier, or improving your well-being.

Amid the current public health and economic crises, when the world is shifting dramatically and we are all learning and adapting to changes in daily life, people need wikiHow more than ever.

Your support helps wikiHow to create more in-depth illustrated articles and videos and to share our trusted brand of instructional content with millions of people all over the world.

Please consider making a contribution to wikiHow today. For example, you could decide to keep the relationship secret for 3 months or 8 dates, provided you both agree on the length of time.

Make sure that you keep any mention of your relationship off social media. Ensure that no pictures of you and your partner are online and avoid changing your relationship status.

Delete any communication you have with your partner off your devices if you think it could be seen by someone else.

Text messages, voice messages, and emails can all easily give away a relationship. For more advice on how to have a secret relationship, like how to keep a relationship secret in an office environment, read on!

Did this summary help you? Yes No. Please help us continue to provide you with our trusted how-to guides and videos for free by whitelisting wikiHow on your ad blocker.

Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy.

Learn why people trust wikiHow. Explore this Article methods. Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1 of Keep any intimacy away from work. The office is never the place to get hot and steamy with anyone.

It's much too easy to get caught, and in many offices, that would be a reason to fire you. Keep your romance away from the office.

Don't exclude others. That is, when you decide to have lunch, invite others along, at least sometimes. People will notice if you're always leaving and coming back together, and they may start to talk if you don't include other colleagues on occasion.

Don't plan vacations together. While it might sound like fun to be away together, if you're constantly gone at the same time for vacation, people may begin to wonder about your relationship.

If you want to keep your relationship secret, stagger your vacations. Stay away from social media. Of course, you wouldn't be dumb enough to change your relationship status to "In a relationship" if you have work friends on social media.

However, it's also a good idea to keep pictures of the two of you off of social media as well; if your colleagues see you constantly together on social media, they may get suspicious.

Seize opportunities, but be discreet. If you find yourself alone at the end of the day with your lover, take the opportunity. Go out and have dinner.

Spend the evening together. Just be sure to plan ahead by having a change of clothes on hand for the next morning. Be honest. If someone confronts you about the relationship, it's time to confess, at least if you won't have too terrible a consequence for the offense.

Once one person is asking, more people probably already suspect you are in a relationship. Just come clean. Method 2 of Have a discussion about it with your partner.

When you are going to intentionally hide a relationship, your boyfriend or girlfriend needs to be in on that conversation.

Otherwise, he or she may feel like you are embarrassed by him or her. Discuss the reasons why you want to keep it secret, being open about your feelings.

Understand that whatever the reason, your partner may be upset. People hide relationships for all sorts of reasons, from being of different religious backgrounds to having a significant age difference.

Of course, you may also want to have an affair, too, which is another type of secret relationship. However, most of the time, people don't want to be kept hidden, so you may ruffle some feathers if you make this suggestion.

Set a time limit.

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